Happy Ending of 2010- It's All About Character, Loyalty and Courage

Start with Our Attitude: Watch Cute Kitten and Think of Our Cute Child

Listen to Kids Talk About Talking About Parental Divorce

Distance Family Mediation

Online Family Mediation from Bryan Hanson on Vimeo.

Internet for Peace- Love This! Thank you, Craig Zeliger

Andrew Schepard's Interview on Challenges Within Family Mediation- Excellent!

Great Mediation Tool for Coparenting and Custody!

Start with a Clear Perspective... How Long Is the Life of This Tree?

Whenever we are faced with a conflict, which should be numerous times a day, whether it is within ourselves (our feelings, needs, values, thoughts, decisions) or outside of ourselves (with priorities, feelings and needs of others, the intrusion of time, health, values which are incongruent with our desire to "GET OUR WAY" or "BE RIGHT" or "HOLD THEM ACCOUNTABLE" or "MAKE IT FAIR"... the first place to find is that little angled spot called OUR PERSPECTIVE... For some people, they find that through the route of meditation or prayer or other mindful practices. They may find it through making a Gratitude List (10 things for which I am grateful, today.) My list always begins with reflection on being born in this country in this century... okay, it was the LAST century, but I am alive in this one... A friend of mine goes out for a walk and looks up into a tree, reflecting on the life of the tree- how long it has been alive and how many secrets it has overheard, how many people have climbed through its branches, how many hours of laughter and hilarity it has shared with people and critters of all shapes and sizes. What a perspective seeking place this wise old tree can help us find. What a lovely starting place...

Working with One Another Creates Beautiful Results

Inhale through your nose ("smell the cookies") and exhale through your mouth ("blow out the candles")

Best Approach to the practice of conflict management: 

1. Take our own pulse first.

2. Cultivate an attitude of gratitude.

3. Center ourselves for approach and neutrality.

4. Appreciate the people at every stage.

5. Be thankful for the process.

6. Continue with all of the above.

7. Ask ourselves whether we want to be RIGHT or be EFFECTIVE.

8. Release our own false pride.

9. Apologize for our part, our participation in the conflict; especially when it has been unintentional.

10. Repeat the above sequence as often as necessary until we feel relief.

Just When We Think "This will never work..." ;-)

Embrace the Therapeutic Justice Idea into Family Law Proceedings?

Jurisdictions have already begun to embrace some of the ideals of applying the principles of Therapeutic Justice into Family Law proceedings, whether they know it or not; whether they label it as such or not.

The factors are slipping their way into the field and I could not be more thrilled... The idea is about finding ways to heal our families, our communities... and so it goes...

Looks Like Something Broken? Look More Closely... They Are Fractiles!

Pieces of broken glass? Shattered fragments? Sometimes things are not what they appear. As a close colleague of mine said recently "Don't Believe Everything You Think!" 

How we frame things in our minds and in our language with others is far more important than any of us might realize. Our self-talk has much to do with creating the "space" for collaboration, cooperation, conflict management, thoughtful resolution... So, perhaps we will do well to question our part in the dance, the mind set and "heart set" we bring into the process. Have a lovely fractile embracing week!

1000 Awesome Things: The Trailer and the Newly Published Book!

CoParenting Gaff Results in Losing 3 Year old for 2 Days: "I Thought He Was With You!"

Little Dion had finished his 3rd Birthday Party at the local Ceasarland Pizza place and was found wandering around the arcade by himself, wandering aimlessly... This was Saturday at around 8 p.m. He did not say his name or who dropped him off or who held the party or anything except "pizza" and "ice cream." On Monday afternoon, the pizza joint's staff called the police and said that the parents and grandmother were wondering if they had seen this 3 year old. Each of the parents (who lived in separate households... or maybe separate planets?) thought that Dion had gone home after the party with the other parent or with the grandmother. No one communicated with the other parent, nor, presumably with the grandmother (who I will bet gets blamed in the end) about how Dion liked his party, his pizza or his ice cream. The little boy is still in protective custody. Does this underscore the importance of communicating as coparents, even if you don't necessarily "like" each other? Great job, pizza joint employees! Final Score: Pizza joint employees, 10 - Parents of Dion, 0. 

The Value of an Apology: Insufficient? Relevant?

Spring Is Warming Up All Over

As the snow melts and the tulips start to sprout, it creates the ideal time to reflect about the merits of learning peacemaking skills at any stage of life. What if there was a peacemaker module taught in elementary school- Just an Hour or two each year?

I find, in practice, the tools are so much easier for young ones to pick up and assimilate than it is for the older folks.

Last week, a young boy came into my office, looked at the diagram on the whiteboard and asked "Who is that for?" I replied: "a few grown ups are learning a few things." He rolled his eyes and said "Well, we covered that a long time ago... Do you want me to talk to them for you?"

Now, that's an idea...

It's Time for Rediscovering Our Senses of Humor and Perspective

Beautiful! Joyful faces  of little foxes who are living in the moment and just rolling in the experience... Whatever comes, just keeping rolling with the experience and avoid vexatious people as much as possible... including tangling with them... It is like a giant mobile suspended over a baby's crib- when we move one of those little lambies, they all must move... It's just physics... Thank you for the photo, Paul Berman.

Searching for the Inner Calm... Transformative...

Funny Dolphin - More amazing video clips are a click away

Meeting of the Minds, Pepsi style

PEPSI COMERCIAL FOOTBALL 2010 Messi, Henry, Kaka', Lampard, Arshavin & Drogba +Akon - More amazing video clips are a click away

Confrontation Can Be Calm and Coordinated... Take a Breath...

Australia and the UK Are Mediatorious!

Truly enjoying reading about the massive overhauls "goin' on" in Australia Family Court and the new report out from the UK (that includes Wales!) about the changes which they are putting children's needs front and center!

I would challenge every one of us to read Jennifer McIntosh's article about the research about both Child Focused Mediation and Child Inclusive Mediation- Fantastic!