Start with a Clear Perspective... How Long Is the Life of This Tree?

Whenever we are faced with a conflict, which should be numerous times a day, whether it is within ourselves (our feelings, needs, values, thoughts, decisions) or outside of ourselves (with priorities, feelings and needs of others, the intrusion of time, health, values which are incongruent with our desire to "GET OUR WAY" or "BE RIGHT" or "HOLD THEM ACCOUNTABLE" or "MAKE IT FAIR"... the first place to find is that little angled spot called OUR PERSPECTIVE... For some people, they find that through the route of meditation or prayer or other mindful practices. They may find it through making a Gratitude List (10 things for which I am grateful, today.) My list always begins with reflection on being born in this country in this century... okay, it was the LAST century, but I am alive in this one... A friend of mine goes out for a walk and looks up into a tree, reflecting on the life of the tree- how long it has been alive and how many secrets it has overheard, how many people have climbed through its branches, how many hours of laughter and hilarity it has shared with people and critters of all shapes and sizes. What a perspective seeking place this wise old tree can help us find. What a lovely starting place...

Working with One Another Creates Beautiful Results

Inhale through your nose ("smell the cookies") and exhale through your mouth ("blow out the candles")

Best Approach to the practice of conflict management: 

1. Take our own pulse first.

2. Cultivate an attitude of gratitude.

3. Center ourselves for approach and neutrality.

4. Appreciate the people at every stage.

5. Be thankful for the process.

6. Continue with all of the above.

7. Ask ourselves whether we want to be RIGHT or be EFFECTIVE.

8. Release our own false pride.

9. Apologize for our part, our participation in the conflict; especially when it has been unintentional.

10. Repeat the above sequence as often as necessary until we feel relief.

Just When We Think "This will never work..." ;-)